"Every calling is great when greatly pursued." (Favorite quote)
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I am an artist. I am here to live out loud." - Émile Zola, French author

"An unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates

"Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving." - Kahlil Gibran

“A man practices the art of adventure when he breaks the chain of routine and renews his life through reading new books,
traveling to new places, making new friends, taking up new hobbies and adopting new viewpoints.”
- Wilfred Peterson (1900-1995), American author


"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Anais Nin


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Reading:
 Skeptic magazine

Watching: College/Pro Basketball (go Duke! go Jazz!)

Listening to:  RCW Mix

Recommended:
"The Innocent Man" - Netflix

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January 23, 2019

I have decided that it is time to overhaul my paintings website (cjhfineart.com). It is long overdue. The mobile version, which is
the version that most people see, was randomly generated and is terrible. So now I am looking for templates and a provider. I
recently re-did my photography website, so I know the amount of work that it entails. It may take some time, doing it a little bit
at a time, but I have to have a quality website in order to be competitive.

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A poem (I am working on a book - stay tuned!):

another one gone.

she spoke her words with certainty,

but the sentiments spoken were not the truth.

self-deception, deception to faces and places

met on a path of self-demise.

eyes of green-silver and lips like candy,

so easily did those eyes dishonor those

who looked soulfully into them,

hoping for signs of life,

finding barren forest.

but we believe what we want to.

so easy to choose the untrodden path,

trying to find a new way, though many

others have hunted in those woods for

a different answer, and once they entered,

never left.

I pillaged, I prayed, I cursed, and then

I surrendered.

two people drawn inexorably to each other

both for different reasons, and perhaps

those reasons determined our separate fate.

for one can recover from selfish lust,

but bad intentions and a dark heart

take us to different destinations.

another “how could I be so naïve?” moment,

when I discovered the truth and learned that my heart

had fallen prey yet again to illusion.

I now walk without you.

I now walk beside an angel

who is tried and true.

I thank you for helping my disease

bring me to my knees.

for in that defeat

came the largest victory.

you exist no more.

I won.

NoExit.cjh.2019

January 22, 2019

I found out last week that my ex Ryan Watson had died of a drug overdose. It has taken me some time to process it. I wasn't
surprised, but I was shocked. She never stood a chance, given the things that had happened to her in her life. She struggled with
many demons. My involvement with her was the worst time of my life, but that experience is the reason that I am clean and
sober today. For that, I owe her much gratitude. My heart breaks for those who loved her. It is a sad story. As for me, I will
grieve in my own way, learn from that experience, close that chapter of my life, let go, and move on. She can't hurt me anymore.

R.I.P. Ryan "Rhian" Watson (July 10, 1978 - January 15, 2019)
Seven
1999 - 2013
Counter
(Write-ups, items
of interest, articles, etc.)
(Abstract Painting)
(Abandoned
Photography)
5/4/2013